anonymous
 
 

 At first, I hesitated to put on parchment my modest knowledge on this topic. For there are always those who think they know more than you and are not hesitant to point out each and every error they think you have made. However, I realized that I knew of no one who could boast of having the skins of four different dragons hanging on one's walls. In this short lived profession, where forced early retirement is the norm, my experience qualified me as an expert. So without further ado, I will attempt to outline the rigorous regimen one must follow to become proficient in this trade. The A, B, Cs as it were.

A is not the Ability to successfully kill a dragon as most people would suppose. Rather, it is the good fortune to be in the Area where a dragon has been recently slain. As any fool can tell you, attempting to kill a dragon hazardous in the extreme and should be Avoided at all costs unless you’re just dying to retire. A proficient dragon skinner is one who is Able to brag about one's Adventures to an Appreciative Audience over a cool mug of sweet ale. The more experienced dragon skinners have no difficulty in keeping their mugs full for the night without having to spend a single copper.

B is not having a wealth of information pertaining to the habits and haunts of dragons as most people suppose. Rather, it is having the Blind luck of being in the vicinity of a deceased dragon's carcass that is accessible to the dragon skinner. A dragon whose carcass is lying at the Bottom of the sea might just as well be in the seventh level of Hell.

C is the only time a dragon skinner should be anywhere near in close proximity to a dragon. After Confirming that the dragon is really and truly dead from a safe distance, examine the Carcas Carefully for an undamaged piece of hide large enough to make the garment you have in mind. This might prove more difficult than you think. Dragon slayers are notoriously ignorant of how to properly kill a dragon for a dragon skinner. They just hack and hew away, caring nothing about preserving the integrity of the dragon’s valuable hide. Their lame excuse is always “I had more important things to think about.” Carefully insert your very sharp knife between overlapping scales and Cut the hide along the grain until you have your prize. But I digress, C is not to let even one drop of the dragon's blood touch your skin. If, for some reason this occurs, immediately Call for…