The Story of Local 509

Being a Tale Started in the Middle and Having Not an End As Yet


After almost two years of effort, the members of the heroic adventurers party that called themselves "Local 509" had succeeded in finding the first of the body parts of Gaga the Sundered God. They had found the Feet in the ancient ruin of Kou Melian which lay far to the East in the lands of Shou Lung.

Braving many, many dangers and the loss of more than one of their parties lives, they descended to the lowest level of the crypt of the First Radiant Emperor of the Kingdom of the Lotus. Sir Ulla had performed the bloody joining of the golden feet to the living legs of the mysterious Beourn, and they stood in awe as the god within him burst out with an explosion of magical force. Using his brief but almost omniscient knowledge, Beourn told them which of the "Gates of Travel" that were in the crypt would take them to the Outer Plane where the "Palace of Judgment" stood. This was where the souls of those worshiping the Divine Hierarchy went upon their death.

In the Palace they waited for some time until the Judges could see them. Once brought before them the judges recognized that they did not belong there and were not ready to be judged yet. The Judges upon hearing their story pick them up and threw them through one of the myriad of gates used to take the souls to their final resting place in the Outer Planes.

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The blackness cleared abruptly. It had not lasted long, but was disturbing none the less. All around, the other members of the famous adventuring party the Local 509 heaved heavy sighs of relief.

"Am I still alive?" says Krom looking at his hands.

"You mean 'am I not roasting in the flames of Hell?'. I was afraid the Judge would make a mistake and out we'd pop into the wrong place" Timber said to Krom.

"I hated that whole judgment thing" says Victorex. "The only god I want to see is the great Bobocob. I trust him. These other gods are unpredictable. I wasn't sure the door he sent us through wouldn't lead to the 66th Layer of the abyss."

"Right, like Bobocob is predictable." said Pisheo. "I'm relieved to get through the judging still free, but I wouldn't have felt one whit better being judged by Bobocob."

"Bless me!, take a look at this place. What a weird town!" said Stallen.

And it was a strange place indeed. They appeared to be standing in the middle of a paved street which was covered with dense fog. It was very humid and their noses told them that there was a lot of smoke and worse that also went into making the air difficult to see through. The buildings all looked like they had been made from the discards from a village rubbish pit. None of them had a single kind of material used but rather a crazy quilt of wood, shingle, mud, rock, and brick. They were not attractive. There were no gaps between the buildings around them, and this made it difficult to tell where one building stopped and another began. Doors and windows seemed to be placed at random in the patchwork walls.

Overhead what looked like an enormous stone shaft was visible through the fog. It was so large at first it looked like a curved wall, but the angle of the wall was wrong. It was perpendicular to the horizon!

Given their irregular appearance, the buildings closest to them appeared relatively normal. But dimly through the fog they could see other buildings farther away that looked strangely tiled toward them so that more of the roofs showed that should. It looked like they were at the bottom of a hill and the buildings nearer the top of the hill were built at a strange angle.

"So what did you expect to find? That Sigil was the same as every other place you've been to?" Dromar said derisively. "I'm surprised it isn't even stranger. Were a long way from home friends!"

"So, what next then?" says Galranwyn.

"Find some food, a beer and a place to sleep. I'm dying for some good grub" said Krom.

"Sounds good. Lets head that way" Stallen said pointing up the street toward an intersection.

They were a large group and a threatening one. They were still armed and armored for battle as their brief stay in the Palace of Judgment had not allowed them time to change. They looked every inch as dangerous as they were.

They wandered down the street, looking for signs for an Inn or Saloon. As they walked, they noticed that they never seemed to get to the top of the hill. Looking both in front of them and behind them, the street seemed to rise away from them. Occasionally the fog would clear for an instant providing them with visions of house roof tops at a perpendicular angle to the street they were walking on. At last, they saw a man coming out of a building.
Stallen stepped quickly forward and introduced himself. The man looked like a craftsman as he wore denim clothes and a leather apron. After making sure he wasn't interrupting an important appointment, Stallen asked the craftsman where they were. Shaking his head ruefully the craftsman replied,

"Clueless huh? Just got here and don't even know where you are. Well it won't be the last time I hear it and that's sure. You're in Sigil, the City of Doors. A word of advice friend. Find some one as will give you the chant directly or ye won't last long."

"I will take your advice willingly if you could point me to a place where we could meet a likely person for such a task. Preferably an Inn or Tavern."

"Well, I do have to get to work, but if you'll grease me, I'll lead you there myself." He held out a hand and Stallen placed a pair of shiny gold coins in it. After examining and biting the coin, the craftsman smiled and directed them all to follow him.

They were soon very glad to have his help. The streets seemed to have no rhyme or system to the layout of the streets. This added to the strange perspective of the place even confused Timber's direction sense. They had been walking a few minutes when the man stopped and pointed down a narrow street that connected at an odd angle with the one they were on.

"See that sign down there near the brick and mortar wall? That's Scuppers. They don't have the best food or the largest rooms, but the Innkeeper is honest and you won't pay merchants rates there. Thanks for the gilt, and good luck." With that he strode off whistling a merry tune.

They all walked in and were relieved to find this place a refuge from the strangeness they found walking down the street. It was comfortingly small and filled with the smells of roasting meat and years of spilled beer.

The next morning they hired a guide to take them through the city. The guide turned out to be a very lucky find. Not only did he know the city of Sigil large street and small, but he knew a fair amount of obscure information as well. As he led them around the city he would tell them things about the way the city works. One of the more startling pieces of information was that Slide was "dead". He lived a lifetime on a planet he declined to name and was sent here by the gods of Judgment to continue to do what he was best at; arrange things.

The city of Sigil was a unique place filled with people from many worlds and planes. Local 509 learned much about how the multiverse works from the people they met in Sigil, but this is not the place to try to describe what the found out.

Although "The Scupper" was good enough for and exhausted nights rest, it had few amenities, so they instructed Slide to take them to a nicer place. He takes them to a new Inn called the Bowling Green. It boasted private rooms enough for the entire party. It had a large but friendly common room with an area set aside for 10 pins on a proper lawn. But the telling feature was that there are guards available for their rooms.

Once secure in their rooms, they changed out of their armor into their finest traveling clothes and went down to the common room. They all agreed that Slide should take them to the foremost shop that sold items strange and magical. Slide took them to a place called "Humeroes Curios" that did indeed have some very strange things. It had an even more peculiar market technique. The sales people were circus performs in their previous lives. They amused (and distracted at times) the patrons as they were making their purchases. Some of the items offered for sale were so obscure that Humeroe himself could not profess to know what they were. As he says "I have it on good authority that the right person will recognize the item".

Although they did find some mundane items to purchase, everything of a magical nature was far more expensive given the small purses they had brought with them, so they returned to the Inn of the Bowling Green.

Examining their coins, Dromar, Katrina and Stallen found them insufficient to the task of buying the trinkets from Humeroe. They asked Slide to take them to a jeweler who would pay ready cash for some stones they had taken from the Funeral Barge of the First Emperor. The jewelers were accommodating and a deal was quickly struck to turn the gems into easily transportable and transferable bars of platinum. They went back to Humeroes and picked up the items (a couple of potions and some scrolls).

Pisheo and Galranwyn had not found anything of interest at Humeroes and struck up a conversation with a human named Yesenda in the common area. She was friendly, and very informative regarding a number of important facts regarding the people and politics of Sigil, but unfortunately did not have the answers Galranwyn had hoped she would. Galranwyn was trying to find out more about the outer plane they would be going to. You see, the great god Gaga had been split into pieces and they were trying to find the soul of the piece they had just recovered... Well its a to long a story to go into here. Suffice it to say that Local 509 had come to Sigil as it was the largest city on the plane of Concordiant Opposition which was near where they needed to go next. Although Yesenda didn't know much, she recommended that they get a "mimir" which would answer some of their questions. Pisheo recognized this as being a strange magical skull that had plummeted down from the sky one night. They had tried to determine what the skull was back on their home planet of Kopeta. Then all it would do is float about 5' off the ground and give off strange sounds when a question was asked of it.

When the people got back from Humeroes, the entire party including Beourn and Sir Ulla all went to Gals room. There, they discussed what the next steps were to rejoin the Soul of the Feet to Beourn. Bourn told them where he thought the soul was. He said it was in the hall of Chronipsis the Time Dragon who guarded it along with the souls of all the dragons in every multiverse. The Hall was closest to the city Glorium on the Plane of Concordiant Opposition. Galranwyn took out the skull and asked it a question about the city of Sigil. Now instead of gibberish, the floating skull told them facts about the Outer Planes including Sigil, the Concordiant Opposition and something about other planes too. Much amazed at how well this old mystery performed for them, they quickly decided to try to arrange to get to Glorium as quickly as possible.

They arranged with Slide (the Guide and Procurer Extraordinary) to be escorted through one of the dimensional doors that are so common in Sigil that would get them to the city of Glorium.
Knowing they are leaving soon, they go to Humeros Curioes to see if he has some new magical items. They make several purchases. After leaving Humeros, they return to their Inn and decide they want to "Pahtay". They decide the best place to "Pahtay" is the World Serpent Inn, the crazy place that is the planar Nexus and exhibits the most eclectic population of any bar the party knows. They have to walk to the other side of Sigil to get to the alley that leads to the Inn. As they walked Slide explained to them that the city was built in the shape of a doughnut that was suspended miles in the air over the plane. A Spire of infinite length stretched from the plane into the heavens and piercing the doughnut city in the center. Thus, says Slide, it is possible to see buildings at these strange angles as they are placed up the sides of the doughnut as well as along the outside.

Slide took them to a tiny alley and faced a non-descript door. He threw a pinch of sand at the door and said "Orouborus" and then opened the door. Inside they found themselves in the peculiar bar between the planes. This room was also shaped something like a doughnut, but it had a regular floor and ceiling. In the center was a bar. The outside wall was covered with hundreds of doors. In between were kidney shaped tables and strangely shaped metal chairs. Wildly colored dim lights which did not burn cast circular pools on the gaudy carpet. The room was further occupied by gambling devices, performing stages, tented privacy areas and lots of people. The atmosphere in the place was electric. It was here and only here that deals could be struck between people on different planets, planes and even separate universes. This was the World Serpent Inn. You knew big things were going on all around you and that tough as you were you were NOT the toughest guy in the room.

They found tables large enough to be grouped together so all of Local 509 could sit comfortably. Once they were settled, a 3' high talking penguin with a silver tray balanced on its head took their drink orders. He recommended a "Hong Kong Snickersnee" which they all agreed to try.

"Slide", said Stallen, "we want to have a good time. A REALLY good time. And we want to do some business too. I always thought that this would be a good place to look for magic, but I never had the cash. Tonight we have the cash."

Stallen tossed a heavy pouch on the table. "There are a hundred Mythril pieces in that bag." He threw another larger bag on the table. "There are 200 gold pieces in that one. The Mythril is for our amusement tonight. We want the best food, the best women, the best drink and the best fun that fortune can buy. We don't want any of it back. The gold is to arrange appointments with those who have information about magic and magical items that are for sale. As long as we are satisfied, you can have whatever remains of the coins for your own."

An enormous grin spread over Slide's face as he replied "I gotta love that style! Right Boss, its time to "pahtay" and I'm your man." Looking at each of them he said "now you all just relax and give Slide some time to get the barrel rolling."

Still grinning he took off into the crowd to make his preparations. And what a weird crowd it was too. Although humans made up the majority, there were representatives of all the races the Local 509 knew and several that they had never seen before. One of the stranger ones was the two headed snake that talked to itself. In all, it seemed that there was a new being in sight no matter what direction they turned. Was that a bright blue jinni talking to that man in the black trench coat?

Slides efforts soon began to appear. One of the talking penguins came over to their table and introduced himself as "Maurice" in an outrageous French accent. The accent was spoiled by the high pitched squeaky voice of the flightless bird. He explained that he was there to arrange for food and drink as desired and would be the parties personal host for the evening. He bore a message from slide explaining that he had spent some of the 200gp to send out messengers to roumer mongers saying that Local 509 are paying ready metal for Magic. He could not say when offers might arise, but that he had no doubts of success.

Maurice kept a continuous flow of "Hong Kong Snickersnees", which was a fruit punch with real punch. Next to appear were 6 beautiful human women in formal but very revealing cloths. They had a note from Slide saying that they were the parties accompaniment for the evening.

Once the introductions were made and a place found for the ladies, the first course of a huge meal was served personally by the ever solicitous Maurice. The meal was leisurely and comprised many different exotic dishes none of which were familiar to anyone. Each was better tasting than the last. After the meal as they relax, the offers begin to come in from Inn folks selling magic.

They bought some things from Hooskis and turned down some uninteresting offers. Getting bored with "shop keeping" as he calls it, Stalen takes his choice of the evenings ladies named Lolly on his arm and finds Slide where he is gambling. Stallen plays for the crowd and gives a excellent performance, impressing everyone who hears and earning him generous tips as well as much applause. Slide calls Stallen "good luck". Stallen gives the tips to Lolly. As Slide thinks Stallen is good luck, he talks him into another set.

After some poor luck gambling, Stallen returns to the rest of the party. Feeling a little drunk, Stallen is taken aback when he is approached by a small 4' high guy with a big head and bushy eyebrows. The jerky head and eye movements show that the small man is very paronoid. He tells Stallen that for 75gp he will be the contact for a guy in the "dark room" who has potions to sell. As much out of curiosity as anything, Stallen agrees to follow the short man to one of the doorways that ring the Inn. Inside the room it is dark, hot and very humid. It is hung all around with dark tapestries so no light can penetrate. There, Stallen is told about some potions the voice in the dark offers. Stallen is cautious and buys only one. He then checks it for authenticity and when it checks out, buys a couple more items. He was very glad to get out of the dark room with its invisible occupant. It was lucky the smell of brimstone did not cling to Stallen's clothes!
Meanwhile, Gal and Victorex are back at their table when a black raven flies down and attracts their attention. Flying from table to table it leads them to a black sultan who calls himself Bebe Robobo. He is an amusing man with a deep voice, easy laugh and amusing anecdotes who amuses while the conduct their business.

After they have made their purchases, they go back to their table where Slide and the others are still partying. Slide arraigns for a 3 course meal that included 32 condiments that are almost all delicious and unidentifiable. Then, he takes off with 5 of the other women (Lolly stays). When they are done with the meal, they return through the door that takes them back to the alley in Waterdeep and then walk back across town to their inn.

They sleep late the next day.